"Doctor, I think I'm going to die." "How long have you been thinking that?" "Twenty minutes at least." "What do you feel?" "A pressure on my chest and I have to gasp for breath." done then?' 'Run down to get the newspaper, so I knew who the doctor on duty was.' run. Do you get it?
"Ma'am, I can assure you that if you can go up and down the stairs, you won't die yet." Sounds good.
Table of contents
When I wake up the next day, I'm glad I still slept. Husband is on a business trip and I prefer not to wake the kids while blowing into a bag, which is still quite a job. Every time I blew into the bag, it got stuck around my nose. I think of the conversation with the doctor about the hyperventilation. He asked if I've been under a lot of stress lately and my first reaction was no. But actually I have had quite a busy time. Busy with the normal stuff and busy with really fun stuff. But fun things can also be exciting.
The GP has reassured me, but I would still like to know exactly how hyperventilation works. When googling I come to a page where they explain what hyperventilation is exactly and how such an attack can be brought about. Hyperventilation means 'too much' (hyper) breathing (ventilation). It is a symptom of anxiety, panic, stress, or fatigue. When we breathe, we inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide (CO2). Because you exhale faster with a rushed breath, the CO2 value in the blood decreases.
I thought it was terrifying. A hyperventilation attack is frightening:you feel that you are not getting enough oxygen, and you may even be suffocating. You may not die, but it still seems that at such a moment. I read that you cannot suffocate during a hyperventilation attack:you in fact breathe in more oxygen than normal. Hyperventilation is therefore primarily a fear response.
Good to know.
Perhaps it is indeed time to take a break from my life once in a while. But the word "pause" really isn't in my dictionary. My body is telling me to slow down a bit. But I'm always super enthusiastic in everything I do. Sometimes ... I do of course carry on a bit and a relaxing evening would also be good. Would such a hyperventilation attack be a sign? The sign that I have to let go of the gas every now and then. But how do I do that?
As a busy bee, I often go on and on and on, and forget to enjoy the journey
I want to do everything the best I can, but it's never enough. There is always that critical voice in my head that says things could be better – how tiring that is.
Sometimes I long for more peace of mind, a more relaxed life with more time for myself, and that I can enjoy it more without feeling guilty. Moreover, it would sometimes be nice if I could experience a satisfied feeling. Sometimes I have to take the time to look at myself from a distance and also enjoy the results I have achieved.
Unfortunately, the feeling of satisfaction is always drowned out by feelings of fear. What if I am no longer good enough?
A good friend gave me the tip to start practicing mindfulness. She swears by it and enthusiastically told that it really gave her peace of mind. Of course I went to find out what exactly that means.
Mindfulness teaches you to focus your attention on the here and now. As a result, you learn not to make situations worse with your thoughts, for example by continuing to worry about the consequences. Worrying less sounds fantastic, of course, but I really don't see myself doing that.
Mindfulness is defined as
You would experience less stress as a result. All you have to do is practice, practice and practice. And if that doesn't work, start over and practice again.
There is still no enthusiasm to fill in the registration form or to buy a self-help book via bol.com. I get stressed again just thinking about starting something new. A new hyperventilation attack is then lurking. I'm looking for an easier way to relax. How about watching television? No no Sun, drinking, hospital (a bit too intense for relaxation), not a nature documentary (that's too relaxing) but just a good series from Netflix. Anyone have any tips?
-x-
Ievy
